Visual Journey 39

Layers Of A Creative Life Alive In the World

Journal entries ©️Charlene Lutz 2014-2016

Introduction

“I've always kept writing and sketch books. Actually, I've always combined art and writing. Over the years, collecting journals and art making books became somewhat obsessive. Choosing just the right book (a ritual in itself) would involve carefully holding it in my hands, feeling its weight, inspecting all sides and the pages within. I sank into thought envisioning the work that would soon fill its pages….Spiral or hardbound? Textured or smooth? Some were best for colored pencil or dry media. Others I bought for the paper-hot or cold pressed, deckled edge or finished. White, gray, black and shades of green and blue, each page held an endless stream of possibilities.

In middle school, I would carry my gessoed paper pad with me on the train to Moore College of Art and Design eventually swapping the caked, oil painted pad for masonite boards. As I moved through my teenage years, I found sanctuary with my books in quiet corners of the forest, under trees and close to water, finding peace in the pages.

College arrived and I filled book after book with oil pastel, charcoal and paint thinner, abstract marks and images combined with written thoughts. The paper, soaked from the thinner, would become transparent and shiny. Inspired by Jean Michel Basquiat, Keith Haring and Robert Motherwell, words littered the page in an often scattered and incoherent way, my secrets safe and hidden.

My work eventually grew larger; sheets of butcher paper filling entire walls. Art journaling never stopped though, my attachment to books was unrelenting. However, I have taken long breaks. In my mid and late twenties I was rarely doing work for myself as I struggled to find my groove teaching art in inner city Philadelphia, marriage and motherhood...life, kept moving me forward.

After my son was born, I again sought refuge in writing and art. What began as a few scrawled, online journal writings eventually became over 300 entries. I printed them after I reached 200 and handed "Letters To My Therapist" over to my therapist at the time. She looked at me incredulously, and asked "Are you writing a book?" I shrugged. The thought had definitely occurred to me-a graphic, life journal. At the time, I dismissed the idea of writing a book. The timing was off, the task too daunting. Later, I burned everything-the writing and over 1,000 works of art-a grand and dramatic (much needed) end to my long journey toward wholeness. Journaling and art provided me with the space to search for answers. As series after series of work unfolded, enlivened and emphasized by writing, I found myself growing more grounded and alive.”

Charlene Lutz, written in February 2022, Reflecting on 2014-2020.

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January 2025

Every morning I sit in stillness. It has provided me with space that I never knew I needed, an ease from racing and striving for more…so much acceptance.

A thought came in as I sat, eyes shut, body relaxed, to look back on old writing. I dug through journals in the freezing barn cabinets and turned to the above passage. Written not long after we had moved to Maine, it was the beginning of a book, or what I thought would become a book.

It is in fact, a step on the road of my work here. Layers Of A Creative Life is the accumulation of poems, scraps of thoughts, paintings, drawings, every texture, mark and smear, journal after journal and life experiences beginning in childhood. It’s the voice I never felt worthy of sharing. My inner work has evolved and it includes all of you now. Sharing art that I make or help others create is my offering to you. Creating spaces where time slows down and outcomes are dismissed in favor of process, is where we go deeper. This connection can be felt within, one that you can take with you and sprinkle out into the world. It is my way of showing you that you are seen, you are unique, and you are important.

**

Today

Deep snow is crunchy underfoot on the trails, icy and solid, no more sinking now. Watercolor ©️Charlene Lutz 2025

I have moved into a daily painting practice in the morning. It fits right now in my life but I am not bound to it. Part of living here is cycling activities based on the seasons. I know that when the cold begins to surrender to warmer days, I might want to walk or garden in the early morning. For this reason, painting right now is of particular importance-a moment in time- so to speak, more than a routine, it is an instinct.

Loosening tight grasping has given me an expansion of creativity. I’m no longer driven by should do’s and constrictive routines. Instead, honoring the changing parts of myself. That is not to say that routines, including those that involve a creative practice for wellbeing, are not important or needed. I think it is in our willingness to allow them to shift, that we may feel their magic most directly.

Morning watercolor paintings this week. ©️Charlene Lutz 2025

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I recently discovered The Essays by Victoria Bolduc. It was not a coincidence. I’ve been spending time reading her beautiful and thoughtful writing. Here’s some highlights-

“Stuff must be lost for everything to keep rising,” I felt my heart-rate increase, noticed my body letting out a deep sigh. I know, there is something here for me, and for my friend, too. Wisdom tucked between these pages waiting to be unearthed. Relief in knowing the ways of the land might also inform our ways of being human.

*

“I wonder at my own middles. My own in-betweens. The in-betweens that often feel so uncomfortable, messy, uncertain, chaotic. And I wonder, what if some of my middles are ecotones ripe with opportunity for life and growth and flourishing of their own? What if I stopped asking my middle to be what was, or what could be, and sunk down into what is — what would I find?”

Isostacy, Ecotones and Healing: The Wisdom of Loss, Limits, Boundaries and Edges From the Earth and Ruth Allen.

**

“Starting over is brave and courageous. Sometimes we start over out of necessity. Sometimes we are invited to dream up something new for our lives from a place of excitement and expectation. Either way, stepping away from what is known, towards what is unknown can be an ungrounding experience. Ungrounding invites us towards growth. An opportunity to cultivate new versions of ourselves. Growth is a practice of expansion and contraction. A push-and-pull of moving from who we were, to who we will become. Like a flower opening towards the bright light of the morning sun, petals in full extension, then closing again under the darkness of night.”

Beginning Again & Again: Advice On How To Start Over; Finding Your Way Towards Something New.

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THE LIVES WE LIVED

the lives we have lived

surface now and again

rubbing up against the life

we are living

friction sparks

small flames of remembrance

warming us in cold moments

when we have forgotten

who we are

-victoria bolduc

[POEM] The Lives We Have Lived

**

Julia Maslen of Revive Gatherings is the creator of the Instagram project, Reflecting On Loneliness: Reviving Connection. Through the project Julia hopes to share the struggles, hope and inspiration of others by sharing their thoughts on loneliness. Grateful to be a part of it and share my voice (typed below). Please reach out to her here if you would like to contribute your thoughts. Follow the project here.

“Loneliness, I think, often stems from a deep disconnect from the self. We live in a world that constantly demands more—more productivity, more perfection, more striving. In that endless cycle, we lose touch with who we truly are. But what if we gave ourselves permission to simply be—to embrace who we are, imperfections and all? For me, that’s where loneliness begins to dissolve. It’s in self-acceptance that we rediscover connection—not just with ourselves, but with everything and everyone around us.

Art, I believe, is one of the most powerful tools for this transformation. Through creative practices, we can embrace our true, imperfect selves. Whether it’s sitting quietly with a paintbrush, shaping something with our hands, or sharing our creations with others, art allows us to break through the barriers of isolation.

For me, creating spaces where art making can happen spontaneously and through a process of experimentation and self discovery has been incredibly healing and self empowering. In workshops or even online communities, art becomes a bridge—fostering real, meaningful connections. It reminds us that we are not alone, that we belong to something larger. In that act of creation, we find a path to connection, to healing, and ultimately, to wholeness.”

**

The final winter watercolor tutorial is for everyone and will come right to your email. This week we will be capturing the quiet stillness of a rustic barn in a winter landscape. If you would like to share your work please post it in the comments, tag me on Instagram or email it to me (charlutz5@gmail.com). As always, experiment with colors, shapes and composition. Come paint and play!

Rustic Barn In Winter ©️Charlene Lutz 2025

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My shop is open and has several winter inspired landscapes and fox watercolor paintings. Thank you for visiting.

See my upcoming workshops here.

Coming soon on Substack and Spotify- Wildly Made Spirit Podcast. Please reach out if you want to share your creative life with all of us as a guest on the show.

So Much Gratitude and Love,

~Char